Tom Brady Leaves Patriots, Greater Boston Area Throws Self in Boston Harbor in Protest Forever Known as The Boston TeaB12 Party.
Throw yourself in the harbor, jump off the Tobin, burn down Gillette, it’s all over.
Today is a day that will live in infamy. Today is a day that shall not be forgotten. Today, March 17th, 2020 is the day that touchdown Tommy, 6-time super bowl winning Quarterback for the New England Patriots proved to be no better than one Mr. Benedict Arnold. Brady took to social media to announce that he would not be resigning with the Patriots. While the soon to be former Patriots star had nothing but good things to say about the organization in a tweet he sent out early Tuesday morning, that didn’t stop the entire Greater Boston Area from flinging their bodies into the Boston Harbor in protest.
Now, you may have heard of the Boston Tea Party, the first major defying protest to British and their rule over the colonists following the implementation of the Tea Act of 1773. Well, that famous display pales in comparison to what shall be forever known as the Boston TeaB12 Party of 2020.
“No Pats Nation without Tom Brady Contract Negotiation!” The crowds engulfing the Boston Harbor could be heard chanting through the wee hours of the morning in an undoubted tip-of-the-cap to their sure-to-be-fuming ancestors whose rally cry was “No Taxation without Representation.”
Good thing Jimmy Garoppolo has been waiting in the wings for years for just this very situat-
-A Well-Mannered Grump