Wrigley Field’s Ivy Slowly Engulfing North Side of Chicago
No, this is not apocalyptic Field of Dreams fan fiction. This is 2020.
Ivy consuming Wrigleyville.
Twenty-nine days have passed since what was supposed to have been Major League Baseball’s opening day. It has been over a month since Illinois Governor, J.B. Pritzker issued orders that required Illinois residents to stay home. With this time-lapse in mind, it’s no wonder the world-famous Wrigley Field Ivy has consumed nearly ten square blocks of Chicago’s north side.
“I crunched the numbers and with no games being played there was no real reason to keep our grounds crew on payroll,” said Chairman of the Chicago Cubs and undeniable Ted Cruz lookalike, Tom Ricketts.
The philanthropist that he is, Ricketts was quick to point out the fact that “we did win the freakin World Series not too long ago. So yeah, it seems like the people of Chicago can deal with their homes being overrun with rapidly expanding greenery for a quick minute.”
The ivy has made its way as far north as the Sheridan redline ‘L’ stop and is but mere feet away from absorbing the part of Lake Shore Drive that borders the Belmont Harbor.
Chicago’s shelter in place order has been extended through May. Taking into consideration the exponential growth that comes with unattended to ivy, our projections have the ivy reaching Naperville by June first.
-A Well-Mannered Grump